Last weekend, I had another magical dream, again at my boyfriend’s house. For about a month, I’ve been experiencing a major funk, and that weekend, I had reached a peak in that funk. I think it was a culmination of The Change messing with my emotions, and being unsatisfied (to put it mildly) about many things in my life currently, mostly my job.
Logically, I knew I had many things to be happy about. My emotions didn’t match that. Hence the funk. Then, that Friday or Saturday night, I had a dream in which I flew. It’s the first dream that I’ve ever had in which I’ve flown, and it was fantastic. It started out that I just had to kindof get parallel with the earth and flap my arms a bit, and believe that I could fly. Then once I got my flying mojo on, I swooped up. As I swooped, I felt exhilarated, the happiest feeling in my life. I was just overcome with joy to be alive and that’s what swept me up, a’ la Peter Pan style.
After a few swoops, I swooped up a tree and came to the top branches. It was full summertime and everything was green. I opened the branches and there was a wooden platform in the tree, with a little chest. I opened the chest and dropped in some precious stones. It was some kind of offering to the tree- a thankfulness that I had discovered flying and could get up there in the first place. Then I flew down again. Somehow while being up there a branch had become stuck in my t-shirt. I discovered it when I landed- it was little rose wand of thorns. On the end of the wand were natural knobs that formed a cat’s face.
Since then, messages (posts on Facebook, on a poster in a classroom, in songs I hear, in TV shows) have been popping out to me regarding living life to the fullest, taking risks, and living your dreams. Clearly, I should be enjoying the life I have as it is now. And, I need to take the risks needed to live my life to the fullest in order to get away from the things that are frustrating me, and not be scared or unsure of my own skills. I have a wonderful sweet boyfriend who has the tenderest heart, the smartest mind and who wants nothing but the best for me. Besides which he’s a cutie with sexy legs and meltable eyes! What more could I ask for? This past week, my heart has re-melted for him and joined my logical brain in loving him. I’ve also come to enjoy teaching again, despite the chaos of the last week. I’ve rediscovered my inner drive to be the best teacher I can be. That doesn’t mean that this week hasn’t made me tired- it has. But I’ve been so much happier.
Fickleness happens. Unstable emotions happen, especially during The Change. It’s up to the logical mind to see things the way they should be. Then it’s up to you to work on your heart to make it match your logical mind. With the help of Black Cohosh and the willingness of my heart, I believe I’ve succeeded this week! I do hope that this genuine love of life and the wonderful things in my life continues.